I don’t look cute when I’m at the gym, or running along the lakefront path of Chicago. I’ve actually seen video of myself running, tripping and sliding along a slick wood floor. It reminded me of a nature video of a rhinoceros being shot during a charge.

I don’t put on makeup, fix my hair, or choose clothes that will signal to the opposite sex that I am “open for business” during the rest of the week, let alone during the workout week.

I’m working out because I am literally trying to run my ass off. It’s a little larger than it was before I was in a bad cycling accident, but still not quite as large as the rhinoceros that I envision. Unfortunately, it is said ass that is making my running come back such a problem. Muscle strains and “overuse” (yeah, who’d-a-thunk it, right?) from trying to diminish my ass mean that I have to slow down and keep it for a little while longer. So never fear, the charging rhino will be moving slow enough for you to get out of the way.