My parents named me Sumi. In the United States of America; a country where the back of every Yellow Pages phone book is an advertisement for a lawyer who eked out a “pass” on the state bar exam. (A phone book is this thing that people used to look through to find information for businesses before Al Gore “invented the internet.”)

My father is Japanese (the kind that switches Rs and Ls Japanese), so this explains his inability to see the pun that is my name. My mother is American of mostly Irish heritage (the, don’t let the truth stand in the way of a good story Irish), so this also explains my name and why, when I was 4 she taught me to say “I’m a doctor, SUMI!”

Facetious is my favorite word. The definition describes me, and it is also anal retentive enough to have all the vowels in alphabetical order.


Sorry, non sequitur, I do that when I’m nervous, bored or can’t think of anything else to say.