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The first week I was in the dorms at college I received an email from my mom which simply said “The pill keeps you from getting pregnant, condoms keep you from getting everything else.” There is a part of me that is sad that I am slightly too young to have received this as a hand written letter, which is how my older cousins received this message (oh, mom doesn’t discriminate between her children other loved children in her life, and I can’t wait to hear how this message is received when my oldest nephew hears it in another 12 years; I’m rooting for a more awesome version of skype). I would like to have that letter so I could paste it into my baby book next to my name tag from my first day of pre-school. That orange kitty-shaped piece of paper, with “Sumi” clearly printed on it, next to a note from mom about birth control would be a nice way to tie up the loose ends of childhood. And a little reminder on how to keep from having to author a baby book for someone else who screams and cries and craps in a diaper for a few years.

“You know Sumi, sex is fun.”

My mom said this to me at the tender age of 15 as she rolled up the window and locked the doors of her Chevy Blazer as we left the drive through of the bank. In the many years since, it has occurred to me that saying “Duh, I know” in the voice that only a suburban teenage girl can muster may have been a great option at this point, although it would certainly have led to a different type of conversation, however I didn’t do that. I promptly began to twitch, tilted my head down and recessed my lower lip in a way that would suggest that my parents were actually cousins. While my physical appearance may have led one to believe that I was mentally divergent, I was actually glassy-eyed due to the concentration I was using to recall the exact specifics on how to make an early 1990s Blazer roll over and blow up. Practically every week there was a Dateline news report on how to make an SUV explode, why was I having trouble remember the logistics now?

This was the worst trip to the mall; ever.